He loves you but won''t Commit?

He loves you but won''t Commit?

He Loves You But Won’t Commit? Try This…
Ever feel frustrated that loving a man and being together in a relationships ends up being a whole lot more "work" than it should be?
Having a loving and lasting relationship with a man can be as easy for you as it is for other seemingly "lucky" women.
If you really want to give yourself the very best chance at a truly loving and committed relationship that LASTS... there are 2 things you absolutely have to do:
1) Choose The Right Man (And The Wrong One)
2) Understand Why A Man Will Commit To One Woman And Not Another... And Have Him Choose YOU
The man you choose makes all the difference. You wouldn''t want to try and fly across the Atlantic ocean with a tiny little inflatable balloon holding you up...So the same goes for men when it comes to love and what you do with your own heart.
You wouldn''t want to try and date a man who''s immature and painfully out of touch with his feelings (and yours)... and then try and create a deep and fulfilling lifetime relationship with this man.It''s going to be a struggle at every turn.But that certainly doesn''t keep a lot of women from trying.
I''m sure you already know several women who have dated men who were just never going to be the kind of loving partner they want. And they kept trying to change him, fix him, or save the relationship from it''s inevitable shortcomings.
But instead of all this working, and things getting better for all their hard work trying to hold their relationship together on their own... these women simply ran themselves into the ground.
An unfortunately common situation I see and hear about all the time is when a loving woman gets involved with a man who isn''t at her "level", or doesn''t really want what she wants... and she does everything possible but the one thing she really needs to do most -
To stop to recognize and ACCEPT the things that are true about the man she''s with.
Things like him not wanting to COMMIT. Too many women who come up against a man who is telling them they "aren''t ready", or is acting in ways that show this, like not calling often, breaking dates, etc... instead of seeing this for what it is (him not FEELING the feelings he would feel if he was wanting more)... they end up trying to MANUFACTURE those feelings in him.Or worse... they start to CRITICIZE or blame him for not having these feelings in the first place. As though he''s wrong for not feeling what they want him to feel.Big mistake.
This basically GUARANTEES that a man won''t "feel it" for you and start to get closer and want a more serious and loving relationship. In fact, it makes most men RUN.
Of course, men play a large part in the confusion here.
When a man is dating a woman who''s attractive and interesting... he will often ACT in ways that say to a woman that he does want to be with her - as he shows love and caring through his PHYSICAL ACTIONS (touch, affection, sex).But this doesn''t mean that he is completely engaged on an EMOTIONAL level, and moving towards a deeper relationship.
The "Danger Of A Connection" goes like this...Just because you and a man share a deeper connection, and he is close and intimate with you... it does NOT mean that he''s indicating his desire for a more serious RELATIONSHIP.
But for lots of women, the connection they feel tells them that they are ALREADY in a relationship. Are men too "commitment-phobic" as they deny this obvious level of connection? Or are women making TOO MUCH MEANING out of that special connection?
Men could stand to learn more about what that level of "connection" means, and how it could lead to an amazing and loving relationship.
Just as women could stand to learn more about how that connection itself is about beinto not attach too much meaning to it before it''s there.
If you want to learn how a real and committed relationship gets started and works for a man... and how to be the woman a man sees himself being with and wanting to stay with... then you need to get past simply thinking that the "connection" you have with a man means he wants to start a real relationship with you.
A man can enjoy simply "being" with a woman, but not have a desire for more when it comes to a relationship.
To create a deeper level of physical and emotional commitment, where a man is not only loyal and loving, but he becomes your equal partner in keeping you close and together... then you need to understand what makes a man FEEL this way in the first place.
So how can you give yourself the very best chance at creating a loving and LASTING relationship with a man?
It is by understanding why a man will commit to one woman and not another, and having the man you want choose YOU.

He loves you but won''t Commit? Originally published in Shvoong:

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